You are the one

“Won’t you hold my hand and stay awhile”

INTRO for MR C. You might or you might not being reading this. I don’t really know what you’ll decide to do, but just FYI not even my bff knows the name of my blog. I don’t know why with you I just felt I want to be transparent. Be aware of the fact that when I write I’m kind of in the zone. I vomit words and if you read something you don’t like I already apologise for it.

I haven’t heard anything from him for two days, I messaged tonight and he had his phone off. Guess someone was having a better time than me. I do feel hopeless and I hate waiting. There is really someone else. I don’t know what I expected, I have no idea if he ever felt anything (You still haven’t answered me).

When I met him the other night and I saw him across the road with a smile on his face all I could think was how lucky. He was beautiful. I really had the need to touch him. His hand was on the table, I wanted to hold it. He was biting his lips and I just wanted to kiss him. I wanted to be with him and wake up beside him. Have a peanut butter sandwich and go to work. Like if it was our normality. Home. Were you want to be. Warm.

I had to literally run away cause I was so disappointed I didn’t know how long would have been before I would have started crying. He didn’t said he had someone else until the following night. Why was so difficult if I’m just a friend? I don’t get it.

All I wanted was a chance. I’m here now. I wanted to go to nice restaurant and complain, to crappy ones and complain. I wanted to walk by the river at night. I wanted to be there in the bad days, when work sucks, family sucks and all you need is someone that cares so much that it make you feel better. I really just wanted to make him happy. I had so much to give him. Such a loser. I’m just sad. I miss him.

B.

Ps: don’t let me go.

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