Should I stay or should I go?

A good reference helped me get an interview in London. Would I do it for myself or because of my feelings for C.? I don’t know, I’m a bloody Sagittarius, a stupid dreamer.

Before you think “Wtf”, he said to me a few times if I couldn’t picture myself working in the city and while at the beginning I did say no, then I changed my mind and he is fully aware of it and of the interview.

But I need to know if we can become something or not, so I asked and now I’m waiting for an answer. When you expose your heart so much is scary, especially when has been broken and put back together a few times.

I’m not sure I can take it if it’s a no.



Days like this

When it’s not always raining there’ll be days like this
When there’s no one complaining there’ll be days like this
When everything falls into place like the flick of a switch
Well my mama told me there’ll be days like this

When someone says Paris is a romantic city is just because he or she never experienced a break in London with the right person.

I went today for a day trip. I don’t live too far from there, I had family over from Us and they wanted to see another capital. So we went for it. I texted C. telling him I was coming to the city. I didn’t have many hopes tbh to see him, has he didn’t text me back in 5 days, last week and I was really worried it was all over. Believe it or not he showed up. We spent an hour together having some coffee. Nothing happened, we even didn’t kiss but he is not for public affection, so I’m not really that surprised about it. We just hug. And was nice. Was home. We talked about the usual things. It felt like I never left. We didn’t touch any real argument. I think from that point of view we are really similar. I can’t explain how I feel unless I’m writing it. I can’t wait to see him again. I miss him already so much.



Give me one good reason.

My heart was aching. I woke up at 5:30 and literally my heart was aching. I could feel it beating really fast. I couldn’t breathe. I was crying.

I dreamt I went to his house and there was full of people from his work and he wouldn’t talk to me. He didn’t say a word and I just left.

I feel so empty. I see only grey. I miss talking to him so much. I want to tickle his face and kiss those lips again. I want to look into his beautiful almond eyes and feel his muscled body against my back. And I won’t get anything.

I’ve been left on read for the last three days. Guess the answer is really clear.

I had so much love to give.