Your song

Anyway, the thing is, what I really mean
It’s yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen

The other day we watched the new John Lewis add.

I can feel it happening again. I can feel my heart slowly breaking in a thousand pieces.

I really liked him. Honestly, I have know idea how this all nonsense happened and all I know is that I really want to be with him. I want to wake up looking at his beautiful face for the rest of my life. And that is mental. I’m the one that rather sleep alone. But you know when you just feel you find peace? That’s how I felt. I like him so much. I hope I wasn’t just a few nights stand. I miss him and I’m so scared.



Bella in the bachelor’s den

I’m laying in C’s bed wide awake.

I’ve been here since Tuesday, we ended up in bed straight away. I like him. I really do. It’s like that “I feel home” feeling. I just wanna cover him in kisses and have sex all day (and night). I didn’t feel this way in so long. It’s so scary. I leave on Sunday and I don’t even know what it’s going to happen. We’ve been talking for the last 4 months daily and now I’m not sure this will still happen.

Last night I asked him when he was coming to visit me and the answer was “I can’t commit to anything” and that really burned. He has been amazing, showing me everywhere, eating great and drinking. I really wanted him to see the places I’m proud of too. And of course I just wanted to spend more time with him.

I just want this not to end.



11 days until my holiday. All my hopes are gone tbh. I already feel nothing is going to happen. He never showed much interest and this really turned me off. Good. Better now than later!

Feeling like Bridget Jones when she walks in front of Piccadilly’s.

“Days without sex: a billion”

I can’t even see myself being touched by anyone. Physical contact kind of repulses me. I’m not attracted to anyone. I don’t want to meet or talk to anyone.