I haven’t seen him in almost two months. And the last time I done my best to not even look in his direction. Time passes and I still feel emptiness and apathy. I wake up, work, talk, go out and nothing. I’m lucky that I have amazing friends.
Today sitting by the lake my friend told me she heard last night he will be moving down under with his new girlfriend. I knew that was gonna happen. I still wasn’t ready for it. I have just a few spare tears and lots of sadness. I had a hope inside me that he will eventually come back and now I just see it disappear. I don’t even feel heartbroken, I don’t feel a heart at all.
I just want to wake up to one of his text asking how I am, go back in time to a happy day. I just want him to give me a chance, move down under, to China, to fucking Siberia. Anywhere.
He went to Japan with my best friend also his. Well at least that’s who I thought he was. But at the end he just preferred to be his best friend. I hoped he would stand by me, that he would have said a word. I was wrong. I’m always wrong.