I feel so stupid. If anyone knows how can I stop have feelings for him and would like to set me free that would be amazing.  I just can’t do it by myself. 
Haven’t spoke with him in a week, haven’t seen him in two. I still spend my day creating some ideal situation, thinking how life could be different if he just would give us a chance. There is a funny side in it: I would never want him as a boyfriend. He is a liar, a serial cheating master. 
Today was Christmas. I was waiting for a text that never arrived, so I texted him myself. And then we chatted a little and kind of gave me hope for an after dinner situation. I’m a total control freak and been checking the phone constantly and saw he was online constantly. 

When then it was time to answer me he never connected. Still waiting for it, over an hour. He is probably banging another chick.